One of the most hated and most attacked areas of Christianity by the devil is the area of marriage. If Satan can get marraiges to become disfunctional, he takes a huge chunk out of our effectiveness as believers.
This is brilliant article written by Andrew Wommack. I have eddited it to make it a little shorter.
"Very few things in our world today are actually a part of Gods initial plan for his people, for instance the worlds goverment systems and monetry trading would certainly not be neccesary in a sinless world which is how God created it!
But one thing that God established while man was still in a sinless condition and said that it was not good for man to do without was marriage. Genesis 2:18 says, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet [or sufficient] for him." A perfect man who had none of the pressures or problems that we know of today still was not complete without a mate. And it was not Adam who approached God about the situation and asked for a companion. Adam didn't know what he was missing! It was God who initiated the whole thing because that was His perfect plan. This all emphasizes the high priority that marriage should have in our lives. However, it has not usually held that position.
God instituted marriage, so He certainly knows how to make it work properly. The only reason two out of three marriages end up in divorce is because the people involved don't follow the instructions God gave concerning marriage. It is that simple. The solution is not easy, but it is that simple.
We read in Eph 5 that Gods kind of love is absolutely essential for any marriage to work well. (That is.... GODS kind of love... not our kind of love): "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church...."
Many believing husbands have dicovered Gods kind of love for the lost and for others in their local church family but this truth often doesnt bleed over to their own wives which actually where according to this passage, for husbands, it was primarily intended to be directed.
One of the most striking differences to me between the world's love and God's kind of love is that you can teach yourself to operate in God's love. Titus 2:4 says that the older women are to teach the younger women "to love their husbands, to love their children." Carnal love is completely motivated by the emotions or senses, but God's love comes from the heart.
"I can't act like I love them when I don't feel it." Oh, yes you can! God's Word tells us to even love our enemies (Matt. 5:44). It is a command. He didn't say to do it if you felt like it. If you will choose to do what God tells you to, your feelings will follow. You can teach yourself to love with God's kind of love.
It is not hypocritical to act in love when you don't feel it. It is actually hypocritical to act on what you feel instead of who you really are in Christ Jesus.
Galatians 5:22 says that love is a part of the fruit of the Spirit. This is specifically speaking of the Holy Spirit; but our new man was born of the Spirit, so it has to be true that God's love has been shed abroad in our spirits too. We do have God's love in our new man. Our feelings are not automatically changed, however. Our feelings will continue to act like they were taught to act until we subdue them and bring them under the control of our spirit man.
God's kind of love is a choice that you make on the basis of what God said, and then act on it in faith until it becomes a reality in your spirit, soul, and body.
If you can receive this basic truth about God's love, then you can begin to be consistent in your love to your mate because your love is based on a choice that you have made, not on the way they act.
Aren't you glad that God doesn't treat us that way? Romans 5:8 says, "God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Praise God! God's love wasn't based upon what we had done for Him or what we deserved but upon His choice to love us. That is all! We didn't do anything to merit God's love. He just chose to give it. We can choose to receive that kind of love and then give it to others in the same way.
Jesus didn't wait until we were worth it or had repented before He gave Himself for our sins. He gave Himself for us while we were yet sinners and living a life of rebellion against Him.
Gods love is unconditional. If you live with a person for any length of time at all, you are going to find fault with them. If your love isn't unconditional, then you will begin to give them what they deserve, which is trouble.
Many couples actually use their conditional love as a weapon to try and motivate their mates to do things. That will destroy a marriage. If the thing that keeps your mate in line is a fear of your exploding if they mess up, then you are tormenting them. That's what 1 John 4:18 says, "Fear hath torment." You may see some results through that method, but it's a fact that you are building resentment and rejection in them, and sooner or later, it will explode. God's love is unconditional."
God blessed you!!
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